Seldom in the history of Scottish politics has the phrase “all over the place” been more apt or essential than when describing the turmoil of confusion, indecision and inconsistency that characterises the British parties in Scotland.

If Kezia Dugdale has a super-power it is her imperviousness to levels of personal humiliation that would cripple or kill a normal human being. Whereas Ruth Davidson deals with embarrassing situations by deploying shields of comically patrician bluster, Dugdale appears to have no capacity for embarrassment at all. The barbs and brickbats just bounce off her. The gaffes and faux pas are delivered with the dumb confidence of someone utterly unaware of how they are perceived by others. Her arguments are wonders of logical and intellectual gymnastics. Her contradictions are a master-class in doublethink.

Dugdale is many things. But she is never abashed,chagrined or mortified. Her super-power protects her.

And that super-power has certainly been put to the test lately. British Labour in Scotland’s clumsily cobbled-together tax ‘plan’ has disintegrated. The £100 rebate ‘sticking-plaster’ that was supposed to turn a general tax hike into a progressive tax scheme was quietly dropped. Like a large church bell is quietly dropped. Without a hint of shyness, Dugdale explained that it was no longer necessary thanks to the grace and beneficence of that well-known hero of the low-paid, George Osborne. A lesser person would have melted in the heat of their blushes. But Dugdale is made of sterner stuff.

Then there was that Good Morning Scotland interview. This was a test equivalent to putting Superman in a bath of kryptonite Matey. But Dugdale barely stuttered as her ignorance of British Labour in Scotland’s candidates and old-timers was exposed. A minor scrape that was doubtless immediately healed with the application of some sycophantic unguent by her fawning entourage.

“You wiz super, Kez! You really nailed it, boss! Well done, hen!”

When it comes to being ‘all over the place’, however, nothing surpasses the attitude of the British parties in Scotland to a second independence referendum. An attitude that seems to veer erratically between the two extremes of ‘Bring it on!’ and ‘Don’t you dare!’.

During STV’s debate, Dugdale managed to fall off the prohibitory end of that spectrum declaring that, in the vanishingly unlikely event that it was ever up to her, the people of Scotland would be denied any say in the matter. Pressed by Bernard Ponsonby, she came right out and said that, even if a clear majority of the people of Scotland wanted another vote, they could all go get stuffed! She was having none of that democracy shite. After all, this is Britain!

To be fair, watching the video, there was a fleeting moment when I thought I might have seen flickering across Dugdale’s face some sign that she recognised she had gone too far. For just a second, I thought she might have realised the implications of the noises that were spilling out of the front of her head. But the moment passed. Her super-power kicked in and, to whatever extent she thought at all, she figured it was only the pesky United Nations Charter she was defying. What’s that compared to the imperative of loyally serving the British state?

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15 thoughts on “SuperKez!

  1. Derek Hamilton

    I have this before and elsewhere, Kezia Dugdale is an infantile wee lass doing a grown up job and failing miserably. If she is the best leader the Scottish branch of London labour can come up with it will be a gie cauld day afore labour makes any inroads back into meaningful Scottish politics and I must say I couldn’t care less as we have a wee lassie doing a great job at the minute and, hopefully, for the foreseeable future. Secure this stability with an SNP 1&2 in May

  2. John

    It is a shame , her party should be ashamed of themselves for putting her through this .The poor girl hasn’t got a clue about anything and they are just feeding her soundbites before she does any interviews . Somebody , somewhere ,bring it to an end . This means of course they have no leader or anyone likely to do be , end of Labour

    1. Takeourblueback

      Too right, I was at the first leaders debate and her and Wee Willie Winkle didn’t have a dynamic thought between them, all chat was soundbites that I’d hears more than once that day! It’s mind numbing that these so-called politicians are allowed to share the stage with oor wee Nicola! #BothVotesSNP

      1. John

        Yes it’s got to be both votes , especially now with yesterday’s man Jim Sillars telling people to give their second vote to Rise , wasted vote .

  3. Gordoz

    Yet another transparent production line Labour North Dud, failing miserably when put through any remote sense of scrutiny.

    Clown after clown after clown, Labour are a busted flush always Britain first and that has been their undoing.

    Cry no tears for the Dead parrots’ of politics.

  4. Dorothy Devine

    I admit to being utterly astonished by her NO response – democracy eh? Who’d have it!

    beautifully put Mr bell.

  5. Alisdair Malloy

    When “Scottish” Labour are once again humiliated at the ballot box and Kez invariably has to fall on her sword like her predecessors, who’s next in the sorry litany of “Leaders”?

  6. Rob James

    It’s hard to envisage how her brain operates although it could be along the lines of -” if you think that’s a load of shite, listen to this!”

  7. Ruth

    I only see the occasional things that I view on Facebook. I have watched Kezia on several occasions and I am seriously experiencing a feeling of concern with regards to her mental health aptitude. Either that or she’s a very clever actress.

  8. Breeks

    Labour in Scotland has a shortcut mechanism to get their people seen on television, and their message trumpeted to the masses. It’s called the BBC. Labour’s personalities may be feckless lightweights, and their message may not carry a shred of credibility, but nobody is checking; they are “on message” and say what the state propagandists want to hear so they can “dutifully” broadcast it to the rest of us and call it news.

    Scottish Labour are the glove puppets of the mainstream media. They are not the voice of the working people. Their purpose is to lend credibility to the unionist propaganda. They help unionist propaganda sell itself by providing some contrived context and a “local source” to quote.
    If jealous Westminster wants our NHS or SNP discredited but of course has no right to interfere directly, just get Kez, or Jackie Baillie to do it; a compliant mouthpiece with pseudo credibility and democratic credentials. All they have to do is squeak, that’s all, and the BBC will step in to fashion the raw material into a bellow of appropriate resonance or hatchet job that finds the right target.

    Scottish Labour provide the sugar coating for a rather bitter Unionism, but thankfully, Scotland is beginning to realise how bad sugar is for the teeth.

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